


Look at Me

by radmeister



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Boonon, M/M, verkwan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-06
Updated: 2016-01-06
Packaged: 2018-05-12 04:36:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,288
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5652703
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/radmeister/pseuds/radmeister
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There he is. Laughing. With her.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Look at Me

**Author's Note:**

> I love VerKwan. If you don't love VerKwan, then screw you.

/ **Seungkwan** /

There he is. Laughing. With her. I don't even know what they're laughing about but he looks happy. He looks amazing. Vernon looks perfect. His natural brown locks that almost fall over his face. The way they bounce when he looks my way. The way he genuinely smiles. The way he laughs when he thinks something is funny. And the way his eyes sparkle when he looks at _her_.

She must be so special to him that when he's with her, everything around them seems to disappear. And I must be so pathetic that I can't even stop thinking about someone who will never see me that way. I just can't stop staring at them. I know it's cruel but I want to kill that girl. I don't like the way she makes _my_ Vernon laugh. I don't like it when she makes him frustrated just because of something she doesn't want. She's a bitch. She makes him do things he doesn't even like. Yet he still likes her.

What does she have that I dont? I make him laugh too, right? I'm the one who has to take care of him when he gets sick in the rain because of waiting for her and her bitchass. I'm the one who sacrifices my schedule when he needs someone. I'm the only one who cares for him this way but he still chases after her. No one's that blind, right?

He looked at me. He must have noticed me staring. Oh no. I looked away. I heaved a sigh. I can't do anything about it anyway. Might as well just get back to practicing than watch them go all lovey dovey and crap. It's a casual day for us. Practicing dancing and vocals and all that. The only bad side is some virus came for a visit.

I stood up and Seokmin hyung called for me. "Seungkwan ah! Let's go. Jihoon hyung wants to hear our lines."

"Aish. We've been doing that for a while now. Isn't he getting tired of it?" I complained. I just wanted to relax but seeing as some parasite is with us, I think it would be just better if I got as far away as possible. I don't wanna see them.

"Yah. He's been working hard, too. You know?" He lightly punched my arm.

"Tch. Ara, ara. Let's go~" I just singsonged as we both laughed.

Our day ended like that though. After the lines, we all came back to the dorm while Vernon took the bitch to her house first.

We were all tired. We got cleaned up and ate dinner. Finally, time to relax. Oh don't get me wrong, I like what we're doing but sometimes it's just so exhausting. I just wanna laze around for a bit.

I sat at the living room and closed my eyes. "Ahhhh. This feels good. Doing nothing is too great~" I shouted out. Everyone except for Vernon laughed. He wasn't home yet, that's why. Soonyoung, Seokmin and Jisoo hyung joined me at the living room while the others went to the rooms since they've been wanting to sleep. Soonyoung hyung started a conversation.

"Vernon still hasn't broke up with that girl? I thought they already did." Soonyoung hyung broke the silence.

"Why would you think that?" I asked, rolling my eyes.

"WHY would I think that? She was with this other guy when we went to the park. She was holding hands with him."

"Yeah. Soonyoung even took a photo. We just assumed she and Vernon broke up since she can do it in public." Jisoo hyung continued.

And I saw it. Yes that was her in the photo. She was being all flirty with her other boyfriend. That bitch. That filthy whore. She dares to do that to _my_ Vernon? What the fuck was she thinking? Can't she see the way Vernon cares for her? The way he works hard? She dares to come visit him after what she does? Oh, that crossed the line.

"Why? Why didn't you tell Vernon?! Why didn't you tell me?!" I was furious. Why would they keep things like this?!

"Seungkwan ah, calm do-" Seokmin hyung was interrupted as I stood up.

"No. You don't know how it hurts me when he looks at her. You don't know how I also suffer when they have 'big' arguments. You don't know how it hurts when he gets depressed over that bitch. I don't know how to contain my feelings anymore. I do so much for him and he doesnt even notice me, he doesn't, h-he-" I broke down and fell to the floor. Tears were finally streaming down my eyes.

"Seungkwan we're sorry" Soonyoung hyung approached me

"No. Don't even try to apologize to me. I need you to tell Vernon and show him what you saw. He deserves to know the truth!" I shouted at them.

"Seungkwan, we don't want to come in between their relationship. She should tell him herself. She's gonna tell him soon. I feel it. We shouldn't mind their business and let them have their thing." Jisoo hyung calmly told me.

"I'm gonna tell him. When he comes home. I'm gonna reveal her true se-" I was interrupted.

"Seungkwan ah. You should wait. I know that you mean well and we know that you love him. But we should step aside first and let them solve their problems. I know it hurts you to see him that happy with her. Please Seungkwan." Seokmin hyung came over me and placed his arm on his shoulder. Okay. Just this once. I'm not gonna let him be blinded again.

"And if that bitch is still gonna lie to him. Oh, the game is on. We'll be the ones kicking her out of the damn scene." Soonyoung hyung playfully said.

"Okay. Fine. I'll wait. But not too long." I stood up and walked towards the door. "And Hyungs, thanks for telling me all these stuff. It's still nice that you tell me things like this so that I can help Vernon and all. Good night hyungs." I smiled and went to bed.

\--

The next day, we were gonna have the same thing again. Practice and practice aaand practice. We all woke up early and took shower to begin with our stuff. Vernon came home safely. That's good. I looked at him and he smiled at me.

"Hey Kwannie. Why are your eyes so puffy? You look like Soonyoung hyung right now. Were you like crying last night?" He slipped his arms around my waist and laughed.

"Y-Yah." I stuttered? Why now. I cried over you, idiot. You'll never know, will you? I walked out on him and just. Damn. Why are tears coming? Why now? Dammit. Seokmin hyung saw what happened and went quickly.

"Yah, Seungkwan ah. It'll be alright. He'll know things soon. I promise." He wiped the tear that rolled out. Why do I have to this emotional? "Let's go, we need to practice!" He smiled at me, took my hand and ran. It made me glad that I really have people who care for me. I just laughed and went with him.

\-----

/ **Vernon** /

Why was Seungkwan's eyes puffy? I can't see him like that. Did he cry? Did someone hurt him? I can't see my best friend like that. He shouldn't be sad. I saw it. He teared up just now. I can't take that it was Seokmin hyung who wiped it. He's my _best friend._

They went to the practice room. I can't believe how fast Seokmin hyung made him laugh. And why am I feeling this way? I shouldn't think like this. He's Seungkwan's friend, too. But Seungkwan won't even look at me in the eye. He keeps on acting weird. He's avoiding me.

Yeri, my girlfriend is even worse. She keeps on acting around like a brat. But she's pretty. And we say that we love each other. She rarely even visits me now. Ugh whatever. At least she acts reasonable. Not like Seungkwan. He's barely my friend now anymore. Yeah maybe that's the reason I got annoyed at him being with Seokmin hyung.

\----

/ **Seungkwan** /

Ugh. I hope no one saw that tear. I'm so pathetic. We arrived at the practice studio. We did our things. We danced and learned knew steps from Soonyoung hyung. We also recorded our Vocal Unit songs so that we could relax for a bit.

Seokmin hyung and I sat down beside the mirror. Everyone followed by then. We were all sweating and whatnot. Everyone heaved a sigh and started talking with each other. Until someone knocked on the door. Vernon stood up and said "I'll get it."

We were all expecting who it was. It was obvious. It's her. This is it. She's gonna tell him. Everything. If she doesn't. I'll step in. I don't wanna see him get lied to anymore.

Vernon opened the door and got greeted with a sloppy kiss. "Oppa~ I missed you~" She whined

"Aww. I missed you too, babe." He chuckled.

"Hi Oppas!" She cheerfully greeted us and everyone grumbled a dry "Hey." and rolled their eyes. She's a fake. I'm gonna kill this bitch if she still keeps on acting on.

They keep on doing the same lovey dovey shit. I'm getting annoyed. It's like she's not even cheating on him. She slaps his arm and laugh that most irritating laugh. I've had enough. I stood up. My eyes were flaring. Seokmin hyung already knew what I was gonna do.

"Seungkwan ah. Wait." He held my arm.

"What? I'm tired of this. I'm gonna tell him. You promised." I was getting furious.

"I was just gonna tell you good luck." He smirked and I nodded.

"Hey you." I walked over to them.  
Vernon looked at me with despise. What? Why is he like this now?

"What are you doing, Seungkwan?" He asked me.

"I'm talking to your whore." I spat. Making him look angry.

"What the fuck Seungkwan? Stop this. What the hell are you talking about?" He was glaring at me.

"I'm saying, that your innocent girlfriend is cheating on you." I laughed bitterly and looked at her. She stood quietly. I grabbed her arm.

"TELL HIM!" And that's when something hard landed on my cheek. Vernon punched me. Vernon punched me? I fell to the floor. Why would he do that? I saw Yerin's face. She was smirking at me.

"What the hell Seungkwan?! Stop it. Why are you saying bad things about her, huh?! Are you really that much of an asshole to ruin someone's relationship?! Why?!" He screamed with anger.

I was tearing up again. Fuck. Fuck you Vernon. "Fuck you." I hissed. "You're the asshole. Why won't you look at me?! Why don't you see that I'm the one suffering when I see you sad?! Why don't you see that I'm the only one who actually takes care of you?!" Tears were streaming down now. "Why don't you see that she's playing with you?! Why are you so blind?! Why can't you see that I'm the one who calms you down when she makes you cry because of telling you that you're not enough?! Why can't you see that I'm the only one who knows that you try hard?! Why can't you see me?!" Vernon's eyes became wide when he heard me. "Why won't you love me?!" I was screaming. Everyone was shocked.

"I'm sorry, I'll go." I stood up and was heading for the door. And someone grabbed my arm. It was Vernon.

"Seungkwan I-" He started. "Oh now you come after me? I was speaking the truth by the way. Ask Soonyoung." I opened the door.

"Where are you going? Please Seungkwan, wait." Vernon pleaded.

"Don't. Let me out first. I need to think." I went out.

 

/ **Venon** /

I couldn't believe what I just heard. I thought he didn't want to be my friend anymore. I thought he was getting tired of me. But I was wrong.

"Soonyoung hyung?" I looked at him.

"Seungkwan wasn't lying. You're the bad guy. Next time, let him finish. You hurt him more now." Soonyoung hyung glared at me, but he still showed me the photo. Seungkwan was telling the truth. And I hurt him deeper. I was too selfish. Too selfish with my thoughts and wants.

"Yerin. Get out." I gritted my teeth at my now ex-girlfriend.

"But Op-" She tried to say.

"GET THE FUCK OUT! YOU'RE A FILTHY LYING PATHETIC BITCH. I CANT BELIEVE I ACTUALLY LOVED YOU." I was yelling and screaming. She caused this pain to Seungkwan. We did. I mostly did. I hurt the most important person in my life. The words he said. They hit me. I didn't know why but I feel like I need to return his feelings. I need to take care of him to. I feel the need to make him laugh again whenever we're together. I need to spend my time with him. Everything changed when Yerin and I became together. I thought everything was changing for the good but it was wrong. So wrong. I can't believe I made the one I love cry. Wait. The one I love? _I love him_. I need to go after him.

/ **Seungkwan** /

I went out tears still streaming down my face. I can't believe it. I'm trying to ruin their relationship? I'm the asshole? He just wouldn't wake up! He's blinded by the fact that many people loves him that even his bitch made him believe. He doesn't believe me at all.

I headed for the dorm because it's the only actual place where I would feel place right now. I still can't help but cry. I love him too much but he doesn't even know how much it hurts. What he sees is an asshole.

I went inside the dorm. I felt sick. My head hurts from all the crying. I needed a piece of him. I went to his bed and laid on it. It smelled like Vernon. It smelled like our memories where we fooled around and had gossips and just talked while laying on his bed. It smelled like happiness and it smelled like him. I cried louder. "Vernon pabo. Pabo! You stupid ass! You hurt me but why won't I stop loving you?! Why can't-" I broke down again. I put my head on his pillow.

/ **Vernon** /

I headed outside. It was cold. It was winter anyway. Where did he go? I couldn't get a sight of him. I started walking. I need to see him. Did he even bring a jacket or a coat or something? It's freezing. I couldn't see him. Maybe he went to the dorm.   
It's the only place he could go to at this time.

I arrived and quickly went inside. I heard someone screaming. It's him. I can't believe I made him cry. I can't believe I'm the one causing him pain.

"Vernon pabo." I heard him say through the door. I opened it and saw him crying.

/Seungkwan/

I heard the door and looked at the person. My eyes widened. He's seeing me crying because of him.

"Seungkwan." I heard him say

"What are you doing here?" I asked coldly. I looked at his eyes and I saw guilt. Which made me angrier.

"This is my room too, actually. And you're on my bed." He was trying to point out stupid things funnily.

"Well, I'm sorry since I'm the asshole. Here." I tried to stand up and go.

"No. Don't go. I need to talk to you." He held me back and sat me down.

"What now, Vernon?" I know the hurt in my eyes are visible. "I'm tired. I'm tired of getting hurt and getting all the blame. I'm tired of everything." I was crying again.

"Seungkwan. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to do those things." He started.

"Oh you didn't mean to? You didn't mean to punch me? To call me an asshole and to tell me that I was ruining your relationship?!" I was screaming again. "I always sacrifice everything for you and all I got back is hell." I looked down. I pribably look ugly and I don't want him to see me.

"I'm sorry. I thought you were avoiding me and got tired of being my friend. I thought you like Seokmin hyung because he makes you laugh like I don't. I feel terrible for everything. For not noticing you. For not realizing that you do so much for me. For not realizing that I love you." What? He loves me? What the hell. "For causing all the pain. For everything." He loves me? And he thought I hated him? Why would he?

"Why would I want to stop being your friend?" I asked him.

"Because everytime I look at you and try to talk to you, you go away as quickly as possible. Like you're avoiding me." He was hurting? I didn't know.

"I avoided you because I love you. Everytime I looked at you, all that comes to my mind is the thought of you and her. I hate the way she hurt you. The way she made you smile. The way you looked at her. That way that you wouldn't look at me with." I looked away from him.

"Maybe I realized it late but I love you Seungkwan. I hate it when others make you laugh. When they spend so much time with you. I'm sorry for everything." He was sincere. He loves me.

"I forgive you. I don't know why but I forgive you now. I'm sorry for making you feel that way even though none of them was real." I said quietly.

"What? Really?" His face lit up. He sat down his bed beside me. He touched my face and touched the spot where he punched me. "I'm sorry for this one, too." He leaned in and gave it a soft kiss. It made my heart flutter. I looked at his eyes and saw a glimpse of happiness and hurt at the same time. We stared into each other's eyes. I leaned in and covered his lips with mine.

/ **3rd Person** /

They kissed. Vernon deepened the kiss and laid Seungkwan down the bed not separating their lips. Vernon nibbled on Seungkwan's lower lip and bit it, making Seungkwan open his mouth and moan. Vernon took the chance to slide his tongue. Seungkwan's fingers went through Vernon's hair and he got ahold of it with his fist deepening their kiss. Vernon's hand went through Seungkwan's back to his waist. Their passionate kissing made themselves both hard.

Vernon changed their position. They pulled apart and panted heavily. Vernon switched their bodies together and made Seungkwan sit on him. Vernon was leaning his back on the wall. Seungkwan was on Vernon's lap. They kissed again. Hotly. And pulled apart. "I love you." Vernon panted out while looking at Seungkwan's eyes. Seungkwan smiled. "I love you too, stupid." Seungkwan then crashed their lips together. He was grinding on Vernon as Vernon was grinding on him, too.

Their members both brush against the fabric of their pants together. They were both moaning. Vernon's hand slid from Seungkwan's waist to his ass and-

The door opened. "YAHHHHHHHH" Seungcheol was screaming and shouting. "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU GUYS DOING. YOU WERE JUST FIGHTING AND NOW YOU RAPE MY BEAUTIFUL EYESSSS. YOU BITCHESSSSSSSSS"

"Wanna join us, hyung?" Vernon winked at Seungcheol.

"AHHHHHHHH!" Seungcheol ran out of the room. The two laughed and Seungkwan broke it. "Can we continue what we were doing just now?"

"Your wish is my command" Vernon smirked and laid Seungkwan back on the bed.


End file.
